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Creative on Purpose Blog

Insight and Inspiration for Flying Higher in Endeavors that Make a Difference

"I'm sorry that you feel that way.” (And Other Lies We Tell)

personal development Sep 02, 2019

You're in a conversation or an email or text exchange. You say or write something that unintentionally, or unconsciously, or otherwise causes injury. The person on the receiving end expresses that they feel hurt or harmed.

And so you say, "I'm sorry that you feel that way."

Let's be clear. "I'm sorry that you feel that way," is not an apology. It's a non-apology. It’s a refusal to accept or even consider that you contributed to what just happened.

Sure, maybe you've been misunderstood or misinterpreted. Or perhaps you're ignorant or unaware. But that doesn't mean you're off the hook.

This is not a time for righteousness and outrage. This is an opportunity to practice kindness, compassion, and selflessness. This is a chance to make things better and move forward.

Need some help with framing an appropriate apology? Try the 4 "Rs" of an Intentional, Meaningful, and Healing Apology.

Let's keep flying higher together!


Scott Perry - Difference Maker at Creative on...

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Want to get going? Get guided!

personal development Sep 02, 2019

In your endeavor, what are the values on which you won't compromise? What are the principles that serve as your north star?

Here are some of the guiding principles I lean on in my work at Creative on Purpose.

Values:

  • Integrity - knowing who I am.
  • Intention - knowing what I'm here to do.

Guiding Principles:

  • Curiosity - question what is and how to make it better.
  • Consideration - thoughtful regard and respect for others.
  • Commitment - the will to work and persevere.
  • Creativity - consider what better can look like.
  • Courage - the willingness to leap and lean into possibility.
  • Contribution - work with and for others.

What are your core values and guiding principles?

Let's keep flying higher together!


Scott Perry - Difference Maker at Creative on Purpose.

Ready to get out of your own way and get going in endeavors that make a difference? Stepping Into Possibility is a 3-minute read that shares three questions that will get you unstuck and on track doing the work you're...

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Serve the Soul, Not the Signal

When someone is celebrating an achievement or sharing a moment of joy, the signals sent are clear and easy to read.

When someone is anxious, angry, fearful, or suffering, the signals they send can be conflated, confusing, and conflicted.

When confronted or engaging with someone who's in anguish, it's easy to get sucked into reacting to those signals or rejecting them. A more compassionate approach is to not lose sight of the soul on the other side. A hurting human is sending those signals.

The suffering signal sender is an imperfect soul striving and struggling. Someone just like you.

These moments don't call for tough love. Theses are moments for practicing real love.

“Kindness is invincible, but only when it’s sincere, with no hypocrisy or faking. What can even the most vicious person do if you keep treating him with kindness and gently set him straight - if you get the chance correcting him cheerfully at the exact moment that he’s trying to do...

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What legacy will you leave?

 

"Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now take what’s left and live it properly." - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 7.56

When your time on earth is done, who will remember you? How will you be remembered? What will you be remembered for? 

Too often we treat legacy like a social media profile, something that can be contrived and crafted. If you have means, you might believe legacy is something you can save up or set aside funds for, a commodity that can be bought through a trust or donation.

But in the end, your legacy is based solely on who you are, how you are, and what you do right now.

Live now. Do all you can now. Be the best you that you can be now. Share all you that you can now.

That's the best way to confront mortality, "live" beyond the grave and leave a legacy worth remembering.

These thoughts on legacy are influenced by a conversation I had with my friend Chris Gill, Emeritus Professor of Ancient Thought at Exeter University....

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The Problem with Contribution

personal development Aug 11, 2019

The problem with contribution is that too often we conflate it with credit or complaint.

When things turn out well, we forget we merely contributed to an achievement and take all the credit for it. When things don't turn out well, we deny our contribution and complain that it was all someone or something else's fault.

That argument you just had, that dinner you just burned, that position or program that turned down or ignored your application, you played a role in what happened.

Own it. Learn from it. And move on.

Successes and failures don't define you. A "win" doesn't make you a conquering hero. A "loss" doesn't mean you're a good-for-nothing. 

Defeat and accomplishment are simply proof that you're an attentive and active agent stepping into your destiny.  Step with intention and integrity. The effort is its own reward.

Contribution done right involves paying attention to what's happening, acknowledging other perspectives, examining ourselves, and...

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What does it mean to live fully? What does it take?

personal development Aug 05, 2019

What does it mean to live fully? What does it take?

Here are some thoughts I'm contemplating.

  • less certainty, more curiosity
  • less waiting, more starting
  • less detachment, more connecting
  • less instruction, more invitation
  • less cleverness, more craft
  • less analysis, more action
  • less busywork, more endeavoring 
  • less judgment, more consideration
  • less compliance, more creativity
  • less management, more leadership
  • less attachment, more acceptance
  • less inspection, more witnessing
  • less obedience, more ruckus-making
  • less reaction, more response
  • less frustration, more joy
  • less trying to be right, more doing what's right
  • less fear, more wonder
  • less apathy, more love

What would you add?

Let's keep flying higher together!


Scott Perry - Difference Maker at Creative on Purpose.

Ready to get out of your own way and get going in endeavors that make a difference? Stepping Into Possibility is a 3-minute read that shares...

Continue Reading...

What's it for? What's now? What's next?

personal development Jul 29, 2019

When I find myself succumbing to inertia in my endeavors, I usually don't need to look beyond the mirror to see what's bogging me down.

Spinning cycles on regrets about the past or anxieties about the future are common challenges for many of us.

What to do...?

I keep three questions close at hand for these moments - "What's it for?" "What's now?" and  "What's next?"

What's it for?

Answering the question, “What’s it for?” helps me determine if what I'm about to do or say is worth my time and talents and those of the people I seek to serve. This question makes my aim clear and true.

What's now?

What's really going on here? How should I frame this moment I find myself in? How can I do so in a way that's honest about the obstacles but also sees the opportunities? Within every problem lies possibility.

What's next?

What are my next truly best steps? How might I leverage what's happening to my advantage? Do I have the...

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How to Get Out of Your Own Way

personal development Jul 22, 2019

It took me a long time to see it, but once I did, I couldn't unsee it.

The thing standing in the way of me and the me I wanted to be was myself. My situation and circumstances weren't holding me back from making the difference I wanted to make. It was the guy in the mirror looking back at me.

Here's the thing, we're hardwired to embrace the status quo. There's comfort in knowing where we fit in, where we stand, and what's expected, or not expected, of us. It makes us feel safe and that we belong.

And yet...

And yet, many of us have a wee small voice in the back of our head asking "What if...." "What if things could be better?" "What if you could be better."

Whether or not you listen to that wee small voice is up to you. So is how you listen to that voice of aspiration.

To get out of your head, out of your own way, and lean into "better," you must change your mind. You also need to change your habits and your relationship with uncertainty.

Most of all, you're going to...

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Start with Gratitude

personal development Jul 15, 2019

There's plenty of science that supports the fact that practicing gratitude cultivates wellbeing. Yet, I struggled with weaving a gratitude practice into my daily life. I finally succeeded by developing two 1-minute micro-habits.

Gratitude Starts with You

It's difficult to be truly grateful for external circumstances or relationships if you're not able to express gratitude for yourself and your inner life. To cultivate deeper appreciation, I start my day by writing down three gratitudes related to myself and my situation.

These might include physical, emotional, or character "strengths." I might also list a recent experience, a simple convenience or pleasure, or even a challenge that tests and develops me.

Here's my list for this day - "Today I am grateful for a curious mind, a cool breeze, and a difficult conversation I'm having later today."

What three gratitudes are on your list today?

Finding the Good in Others

A practice I learned from Seth Godin in the altMBA is "Finding...

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The Reserve Clause

personal development Jul 08, 2019

"We carry our fate with us - and it carries us." - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 3.4

Some people have a really hard time with the idea of fate. What's so upsetting about the idea that everything is happening as it was intended?

I think many don't like the idea that Providence* is in charge because that means that they are not.

Why not embrace fate instead? That your life and that of others is unfolding as it should and is meant doesn't mean you don't have a role to play. Indeed, it actually means you are even more "on the hook" for your thoughts, words, and deeds. 

Adopting a posture that your efforts and aspirations are being pursued with the reserve clause, "fate permitting," doesn't mean that you're letting life happen to you. Instead, such an approach acknowledges that life is happening through you.

Whether you believe in or accept fate, you have a role to play in your life, the lives of others, the world, and even the cosmos.

Play that role well.

Let's keep flying...

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I'd love to share the Stepping Into Possibility guide and two additional resources with you. Where should I send them?