The Blog

Human beings are meaning-making machines.

We are uncomfortable with uncertainty and randomness.

We try to make sense of what we don't understand and impose order on chaos.

But here's the thing, in our desire to make sense of ourselves, our situation, and each other, we put another natural human p...

Aspiring and advancing difference-makers set goals and develop strategies for making an impact (and a living).

Many well-meaning change agents often think about what else they can do to amplify the reach and impact of the difference only we can make.

After all, human beings are programmed by biolo...

Be selfishly selfless.

For most of us, this is a counterintuitive, even repugnant idea.

Only a narcissist would place himself in the #1 position in his life.

Right?

I don't think so.

Sure, a narcissist places his needs, wants, dreams, and desires ahead of everyone else's.

But only a narcissist...

Why does the pursuit of happiness create so much misery?

Because happiness isn't a place. It can't be pursued.

The pursuit of happiness is a fruitless endeavor that can only result in frustration and emptiness.

So, does happiness matter?

Of course, we just need to understand what it is (and what...

If you're a difference-maker (and if you're reading this, you probably are or aspire to be), you're a risk-taker.

Difference-makers seek to make things better, and making things better requires coming up with creative, new solutions to persistent old problems.

For the difference-maker, navigating ...

I've said it many times, human beings make sense of themselves, their circumstances, and each other through narrative.

Put another way, choose your story, choose your future.

And nothing makes a story more engaging than an open loop.

What's an open loop?

In storytelling, an open loop introduces ...

You've got to change to change.

But change works in at least two directions—change for the better or, the worse.

Which direction are you going?

If you don't pay attention, you'll likely fall into the path of least resistance.

And that path leads somewhere worse, more often than not.

How do you ...

How would you answer the question, "What do you want?"

The most common answers I hear are attached to "more."

More money. More status. More stuff.

But here's the thing, "more" rarely gets us closer to what we really want.

Through conversations with clients in midlife, I find that people really w...

What does it mean to decide?

Decide comes from the Latin decidere, literally “to kill off from” (de “off” + caedere “to kill”).

In other words, when you decide to do a thing, you are also deciding to not do (kill) a host of other things.

And what of deciding not to decide?

Well, that’s deciding ...

Do you catch yourself having some uncomfortable conversations with yourself over and over?

I sure do.

One of my least favorites is the one where I tell myself that I'm "almost there" with achieving a goal.

With goals about my physical and financial health, the "almost there" conversation can go o...

My first experience with a girlfriend was in the 8th grade.

After three days of holding hands on our way to classes, she dumped me for a 9th grader.

I never dated again...

Okay, of course, that's not true.

My first decision about who to ask out turned out to be bad.

But I made lots of dating de...

Coaching is a weird business.

Unlike a teacher or mentor who teaches you something you don’t yet know, the essential job of a coach is to help you recognize you already possess everything you need and embrace your hidden wholeness.

Coaches remind you that you are sufficient as you are, even as you...