How to Avoid Being an *ss

Sometimes I act like an *ss. I bet you do too.

Why is that?

Human beings crave certainty.

The problem is that almost everything is uncertain.

Human beings are also storytelling creatures.

We make sense of ourselves, our situations, and each other through narrative.

Our love of certainty and narrative can lead to some pretty fascinating behavior.

We notice things, observe patterns, and make general conclusions that become assumptions.

This kind of inductive reasoning has its place and its perils.

As I said, we love our stories and certainties.

And before we know it, our assumptions become dogmatic beliefs we cling to and fight for even when presented with overwhelming evidence and truths that contradict them.

What to do?

When you catch yourself saying things like, “I have to do this,” or “Because they say so,” or “I need to..,” pause and say, “Isn’t that interesting..? “

This inserts a moment of curiosity and opens a loop in your certainty spiral.

Now you can approach things more scientifically by turning your assumptions into assertions and using deductive reasoning to test them for validity.

Do you really “have to do this?” Are they always right (and do they always consider what are your best interests)? Do you really, really need that?

We learn as children that when you assume, you make an *ss of you and me.

That, of course, might be in and of itself an assumption.

But if you take a thoughtful look at the state of human affairs, we might assert that the harmful effects of assumptions are worth trying to avoid more rigorously.

How can we avoid being an *ss today? 

Scott Perry, Encore Life Coach at The Art of Encore Living

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