The Downside of Positive Thinking

We can probably agree that negative self-talk does not serve our efforts to improve ourselves or improve our well-being. My guess is that fewer of us would agree that positive thinking can have the same unhelpful effect.

That's okay. I'm not sharing these reflections for agreement. I'm searching for and sharing insight based on my experience, learning, and perspective. Your mileage may vary.

Here's the situation as I see it. Negative self-talk is, by definition, laden with value judgments about how you measure up, or rather don't measure up, to expectations and desired outcomes. It often leads to your imposter and inner critic unleashing a barrage of value judgments that impugn your intelligence or ability.

Here's the thing, positive self-talk is the flipside of the same coin. There are value judgments associated with positive thinking. To say something is good implicitly implies the inverse is bad.

Whether I say "I'm an idiot," or "I suck," or "I'm smart," or "I'm awesome," my focus is on results and not effort. I'm tying my identity and happiness to outcomes beyond my control instead of actions within my control.

Positive thinking may not be as harmful as negative thinking, but why not avoid judging yourself altogether? Why not frame a result simply as it objectively is? You can then treat an undesired outcome as an interesting problem you can solve rather than a reflection of your character and worthiness. You can become a little less critical and a bit more curious and start working on the problem instead of letting it work on you.

What if, just for today, instead of negative or positive thinking, you look at your situation or results without judging them? What if, instead, you looked at them and said, "Isn't that interesting...?" What happens if you frame a challenge as a problem to solve rather than a statement about yourself or your abilities?

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose.

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