Dustin Staiger - "Choose grace instead."

tips from podcast guests Jun 28, 2023

Insight and inspiration for flying higher in the difference only you can make from guests who have appeared on Creative on Purpose Live.

This week’s wisdom comes from a conversation with Dustin Staiger the author of Blame This Book. Tune into the entire conversation here.

[Dustin] "The thing that really comes to mind for me is the idea of the second arrow, right?"

"So the story of the Buddha and a student. Buddha is talking to the student and says, 'You know when a person is shot with an arrow does it hurt them?' That's an obvious question, right?"

"So you're like, 'What is he getting at?' But the student replies, 'Yes, it does.'"

"And Buddha says, 'If this same person is shot with a second arrow, does that hurt them as well?' And the person said, 'Yes, it does.'"

"And then the Buddha explained it. 'In life, we can't always avoid the first arrow. The first hurt that occurs in life, we're going to encounter those things no matter what."

"But we do have an opportunity with the second arrow. That is our choice, right?"

"And so when somebody around us is hurt, they've encountered that first arrow and that first arrow could be a failure of some sort."

"Then I think one tip for me is to have the awareness in that moment to ask yourself, 'Am I going to blame them?' At this point, then, am I firing that second arrow? And do I have an opportunity right now to do something different?"

"The opportunity of choice here is to, instead of choosing that arrow, choose grace instead."

"And that doesn't mean that they don't encounter consequences for that failure, but it means that we're not adding insult to injury in that moment by firing that second arrow of blame.."

Dustin just delivered an important reminder about how to avoid the blame and shame game. How will you avoid shooting the second arrow and choose grace instead today?

Scott Perry, Encore Life Coach at Creative on Purpose

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